2016 SPAM Football Pool

the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong... but time and chance happeneth to them all

The SPAM Banquets

1998 1st - no awards
1999 2nd - no awards
2000 3rd - Texas Roadhouse, Colorado Springs
2001 4th - Red Lobster, Washington DC (East Coast) and Colorado Springs (West Coast)
2002 5th - Pizzaco, Providence (East Coast) and Texas Roadhouse, Colorado Springs (West Coast)
2003 6th - Landrys, Denver
2004 7th - Texas Roadhouse, Colorado Springs
2005 8th - Dave & Busters, Denver
2006 9th - no awards; SPAM stein
2007 10th - no awards; Red Lobster, Denver
2008 11th - Chili's, San Diego
2009 12th - no awards; Red Lobster, Denver
2010 13th - no awards; Yellowstone

The SPAM Awards

2008

 

The 11th annual SPAM Football Pool banquet was held outside of Colorado for the first time.  Paul, Linda, Gloria, Julie, and Matthew met at the Chili’s in San Diego, California near Sea World.  Julie enjoyed the best meal as winner of the overall title, eventually.  Paul presided over the awards ceremony with help from his lovely assistant, Pete, who managed not to drop most of the awards.  The mini-helmets and mini-mugs returned after a 2-year hiatus thanks to Cici’s All-The-Cheap-Pizza-You-Can-Stomach Buffet.  A good time was had by all.  See below for a recap of the awards that were handed out.

 

The Minnesota Vikings Award

Back On Top (since MIN won its first NFC North title since 2000) goes to:

 

Matthew (who won his first SPAM title since 2002)

 

The Jacksonville Jaguars Award

Who Cares About Victories? (since JAX outscored their opponents in first downs, offensive plays, rushing yards, rushing average, and time of possession, yet finished 13th of 16 teams in their conference) goes to:

 

Judy (who had the best overall % but finished in 6th place of 7 participants)

 

The New Orleans Saints Award

Super Bowl Drought (since NO is one of five teams never to play in a Super Bowl) goes to:

 

Linda (who, despite racking up the highest number of playoff points all time, hasn't won a Super Bowl title since her only one in 1998)

 

The Buffalo Bills Award

Who Need Titles? (since BUF has never won a Super Bowl, despite 4 straight appearances) goes to:

 

Shirley (who has never won a title, despite 3 2nd place finishes)

 

The Tennesee Titans Award

Best Start (since TEN started the season 11- 0 and was the last team to suffer a defeat) goes to:

 

Paul (who won the 1st half title)

 

The Dallas Cowboys Award

In The Shadow Of The Giants (since DAL was predicted to go to the Super Bowl, but sat in 2nd place behind the Giants most of the season) goes to:

 

Gloria (who finished 2nd in the first half, and finished 2nd in the second half and overall to the Giants award winner)

 

The New York Giants Award

Nothing Lasts Forever (since NYG finished last year as NFL champions and this year as NFC East champions, but went one and done in this year's playoffs) goes to:

 

Julie (who finished the regular season as 2nd half champion and overall champion yet set the record for lowest playoff score of all time at one)


2005

 

WEST COAST AWARDS

By Larch

 

The West Coast awards were passed out at Dave & Buster's (Denver, CO) with Poplar, Blue Spruce, Yew and Larch in attendance.  Larch received the best meal as the best overall finisher, but also received the 2nd half prize as well (wine & beef stick).  However, the other attendees didn't fare too badly.  Poplar got a bucket of donut holes and agreed to share them in exchange for their Power Play cards.  A fun time was had by all.

 

The Miami Dolphins Award

Quick Start (since MIA had their best game in week 1 by beating DEN 34-10, but failed to make the playoffs) goes to:

 

Poplar (who had his best result in week 5 scoring a tree-markable 79% and winning the week by 2 games, but dropped to 12th place by the season end)

 

The St. Louis Rams Award

Unwelcome 4s (since STL lost their worst defeat in week 4 to the NYG 24-44) goes to:

 

Blue Spruce (who, in the last 6 seasons, has finished 4th five times)

 

The Indianapolis Colts Award

Most Consistent (since IND is tied for the best regular season record in the past 3 years) goes to:

 

Yew (who has tied for the best overall record in each of the past 3 years)

 

The Cincinnati Bengals Award

Drought Buster (since CIN made it to the playoffs for the 1st time in 15 years) goes to:

 

Larch (who has won 4 of the last 5 titles (including being the 1st to sweep the regular season titles) after failing to win it 13 times)

 

THE REST OF THE AWARDS

 

The Pittsburgh Steelers Award

Most Meaningless 15 (since PIT went 15-1 last year only to lose in the playoffs) goes to:

 

Oak (who went 15-1 one week only to forget all his picks a couple weeks later)

 

The Green Bay Packers Award

Biggest Heartbreaker (since GB, in what could be Favre's last year, didn't even come close to making the playoffs) goes to:

 

Palm (who, despite being voted the pre-season, sentimental favorite to win a title, didn't even come close.)

 

The Washington Redskins Award

Rough Start (since WAS started the season 5-6 but finished with 5 wins) goes to:

 

Ash (who started the season at 58% but finished the final seven weeks at 67% and won a week)

 

The San Francisco 49ers Award

At Least We’re Not Last (since SF finished the 2005 seasons with a record better than only 2 teams) goes to:

 

Dogwood (who finished the 1st half ahead of only 1 member)

 

The New England Patriots Award

Most In Love With The East (since NE lost most of their games in the AFC, but only one in the AFC East) goes to:

 

Olive (who picked NE 88% of the time this year (including all 6 losses) and the last 3 years to win the Super Bowl)

 

The Cleveland Browns Award

Most Personal Nickname (since CLE is named after their first coach Paul Brown) goes to:

 

Holly (who, we didn't realize until this year, was named after a tree)

 

The New York Giants Award

Best Below Average Percentage (since NYG finished the regular season with a .688 winning percentage) goes to:

 

Lilac (who finished the regular season with a .679 winning percentage)

 

The Seattle Seahawks Award

Almost Best Record (since SEA finished the season with the league's 2nd best record) goes to:

 

Fig (who finished the 2nd half with the pool's 2nd best record)


2004

 

The Anderson Detective Academy is pleased to announce the graduates from its first year of training:

 

Jade is awarded the rank of cadet for solving the Case of the Laser. 

 

Moonstone is awarded the rank of Secret Agent for solving the Case of the Bible Puzzle, the Case of the Medals, and the theme.

 

Silver is awarded the rank of Secret Agent for solving the Case of the Riddle, the Case of the Laser, and the Case of Wyoming.

 

Sapphire is awarded the rank of Special Investigator for solving the Case of the Saw, the Case of the Oyster, the Case of the Hummingbird, and the Case of the Watches.


2003

 

East COAST Awards

By Mockingbird

 

Thanks for the wonderful candy; it was consumed with much gusto during the awards ceremony.  Everyone loved the singing Mockingbird, and I had to wait for everyone to go home before I could play with it.  The awards banquet was a huge success.  We ate, ate, ate and had a great time at the presentation ceremony.  Everyone loved their stickers and helmuts - your commentary was perfect- both insightful and ironic.

 

The New York Jets Award

Feeling Better (since Chad Pennington had 4 of the 6 NYJ wins after returning from a broken wrist) goes to:

 

Dunlin (who was tied for 3rd going into the final week after he could see clearly)

 

The Jacksonville Jaguars Award

A Big Goose Egg (since JAX failed to win a game on the road) goes to:

 

Archaeopteryx (who failed to win a week this year after winning 3 in the 1st half last year)

 

The Chicago Bears Award

Best Rookie (since Rex Grossman is CHI's first rookie quarterback to win his first two starts since at least 1965) goes to:

 

Bluebird (who had the best overall % of any SPAM rookie since 1998)

 

The New York Giants Award

Most In Need of a Change (since NYG coach, Jim Fassel, requested a meeting with the owners to part ways) goes to:

 

Mockingbird (who has served the first 2 terms as Director of Prize Distribution under the SPAM Constitution)

 

Rest of the Awards

 

The Cincinnati Bengals Award

Miracle Pick (since CIN predicted a win over undefeated KC (10-0) and did it) goes to:

 

Robin (who was the only one to pick CIN over KC!  And he had 8 other Miracle Picks including ARI over MIN and DET over STL in week 17)

 

The Miami Dolphins Award

Walking Wounded (since Ricky Williams was battling a shoulder injury all season) goes to:

 

Western Meadowlark (who was battling a shoulder injury all season)

 

The Tennessee Titans Award

Personal Best (since Steve McNair had his best passer rating this year and tied for the league MVP) goes to:

 

Blue Jay (who had her best % in the 2nd half this year)

 

The Cleveland Browns Award

Almost the Biggest Bust (since CLE went from 6th in the AFC last year to 14th in the AFC this year just ahead of OAK) goes to:

 

Dove (who went from 1st overall last year to 5th overall this year just ahead of Archaeopteryx who dropped 5)

 

The San Diego Chargers Award

Bad Luck (since SD's running back gained the 2nd most yard in NFL history and was not invited to the Pro Bowl) goes to:

 

Great Auk (who found out a friend couldn't use his CHI @ DEN tickets 2 days after the game was over)

 

The Buffalo Bills Award

Most Likely to Stampede (since Buffalo has an oxlike Old World mammal of the family Bovidae as their logo) goes to:

 

Green Jay (who set the record for best % in the 1st half during the nickname era)

 

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Award

Most Likely to Steal a Title (since TB "picked off" OAK a record 5 times in the Super Bowl) goes to:

 

Wormer (who pirated the internet resources at work to steal the overall title away from Green Jay by the tie-breaker)


2002

 

WEST COAST Awards

By Coloradisaurus

 

PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS, COLORADISAURUS, T-REX and DINOSAURUS attended.  Before the dinner, we went to a park and were presented with a wrapped item.  PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS read the awards for the members not attending, and then each member that was attending opened the award.  As COLORADISAURUS started to open hers, she was sprayed with silly string.  Fortunately, she already had the plastic off and shook up her spray bottle.  She was able to quickly defend herself.  During some friendly fire, DINOSAURS got a “taste” of her own medicine!  After picking up most of the silly string from the park, we headed to Texas Roadhouse.  COLORADISAURUS got the most expensive meal, DINOSAURUS and PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS got the same item, and lastly, T-REX enjoyed a kid’s meal.  The waitress was impressed with PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS’ award.  DINOSAURUS and T-REX helped COLORADISAURUS with her dessert, a brownie with ice cream.  T-REX enjoyed the rolls and lemonade so much that didn't have any room for his steak so PACHYCEPHALOSAURUS helped him out.  It was a very enjoyable evening.

 

The Miami Dolphins Award

Most In Need of Sun (since Miami had a 7-1 record at home this year and a 2-6 record on the road) goes to:

 

Dinosaurus (who endured the arctic winds atop Pikes Peak for a doughnut)

T-Rex (who suffered a sledding accident in Rocky Mountain National Park and got snow down his pants)

 

The Denver Broncos Award

Close but No Cigar (since Denver was knocked out of the playoffs in the final week when Atlanta failed to score against Cleveland from the 1 yard line 3 times) goes to:

 

Pachycephalosaurus (who lost the second half title by dropping 2 overtime games in the final week)

 

The Buffalo Bills Award

Most Likely to Stampede (since Buffalo has an oxlike Old World mammal of the family Bovidae as their logo) goes to:

 

Coloradisaurus (who ran over the rest of the pool in the overall standings)

 

EAST COAST Awards

By Megalo

 

This board member enjoyed her prizes greatly, and many thanks go out to the prize committee for doing such a bang up job.  Tiny football helmets adorned the Christmas tree, and little dinosaurs roamed freely on the dining room table.  Our awards dinner was held at a fancy shmansy Italian restaurant in Providence, called Pizzaco.  In attendance were myself, MAIASAURA, MUSSAURUS and mate, and the possible new candidate to the pool - Holly.  I very much enjoyed my filet in red wine reduction, while MUSSAURUS wolfed down some seafood risotto and MAIASAURA engulfed a grilled chicken breast in a garlic white wine sauce.  Topics of discussions were a little hazy, due to the amount of red wine consumed, however, I believe it ranged from house buying to, naturally, football and the fate of the lilting Patriots.


Many thanks.  It has been a great season.

 

The Kansas City Chiefs Award

Missing In Action (since Kansas City lost the NFL’s leading rusher in December) goes to:

 

Mussaurus (who went MIA from the pool in December)

 

The Cleveland Browns Award

Dumbest Nickname (Brown?  That looks like orange to me) goes to:

 

Maiasaura (who picked Pachycephalosaurus)

 

The Baltimore Ravens Award

Bird Brain (since Baltimore named their team after a bird) goes to:

 

Megalo (who picked so many dinosaur topics she ran out of ideas and switched to birds instead)

 

Rest of the Awards

 

The Oakland Raiders/John Madden Award

Least Likely to Fly (since Madden coached Oakland and always took the bus even though his job took him across the US) goes to:


Torosaurus (who almost didn’t attend her brother’s Anniversary party because, as she said, “Unless I back out because of fear of flying.”)

 

The Green Bay Packers Award

Most Likely to Want to be in Wisconsin (since Green Bay has never once lost a playoff game in Wisconsin) goes to:


Bary (who, despite living in California, bleeds green and gold)


2001

 

The 4th annual Football Pool banquet was a festive occasion.  Sergeant Schultz enjoyed the best meal (and soup, and drink) as winner of the overall title, and Commander-In-Chief presided over the awards ceremony.  Little Mac was also in attendance in the Washington, DC location.  Sherman, Major Winters, and Captain America attended the banquet via conference call. See below for a recap of the awards that were handed out.

 

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Award

Most Likely to Pick a Florida Team to Win the Super Bowl (since Tampa Bay still thought they had a chance to win the Super Bowl as a sixth seed) goes to:

 

Captain America (who picked Tampa Bay 15 times and Miami 16 times this year)

 

The Dallas Cowboys Award

Last One to Give Up on Dallas (since the owner predicted a 10-6 record but Dallas finished 5-11) goes to:

 

Buzz (who picked Dallas 4 out of the first 5 weeks (one win))

 

The New England Patriots Award

Most Patriotic (since New England is the Patriots) goes to:

 

Little Mac (who recommended everyone pick the New York teams after the 9/11 attack)

 

The Oakland Raiders/John Madden Award

Least Likely to Fly (since Madden coached Oakland and always took the bus even though his job took him across the US) goes to:


Major Winters (who made her family drive to Disneyland and back this Christmas instead of flying)

 

The New Orleans Saints Award

Most Vainglorious Nickname (since New Orleans threw an opponent’s helmet into the stands) goes to:

 

Commander-In-Chief (who picked that name?)

 

The Washington Redskins Award

Most Likely to Offend (where do you want to start: owner, coach, nickname, etc.) goes to:

 

Sergeant Schultz (who received the first ever complaint email for picking a nickname)

 

The Chicago Bears Award

Luckiest 1st Half (since Chicago beat two teams with 2 TDs in the final 5 minutes for overtime and then intercepted for the winning TDs in OT) goes to:

 

Sherman (who won the 1st half by the tiebreaker)

 

The St Louis Rams Award

Best 2nd Half (since St Louis went 8-1, winning by an average of 33-14, in the 2nd half) goes to:

 

Major Gen (who won the 2nd half with the 3rd highest winning percentage in the history of the pool)


2000

 

The 3rd annual Football Pool banquet was a rousing success.  The Director of Prize Distribution got off easy this year as the meal was provided free of charge.  Sage enjoyed the best meal as winner of the overall title and Chicken Stock was penalized for exceeding the 3rd place price cap.  She was forced to return the six-dollar margarita and order an ice tea instead (she has vowed to win next season).  See below for a recap of the awards that were handed out.

 

The Cleveland Browns Award

Most Likely to Enjoy a Bye Week (since Cleveland finished their season one week early) goes to:

 

Poppy Seed (who picked the Browns 50% of the time and was the only member to take a bye week)

 

The Philadelphia Eagles Award

Most Surprising Result (since Philadelphia finished 1 game back in their division and in the playoffs for the 1st time in 5 years) goes to:

 

Cinnamon Stick (who finished tied for 2nd in the 2nd half and is 7)

 

The Arizona Cardinals Award

Most Likely to Retire (since Arizona is celebrating their 53rd year since an NFL championship - in the warmth at least) goes to:

 

Dill Weed (who has the longest current drought without a title (11 seasons))

 

The Green Bay Packers Award

Most Likely to Spend the Winter in the Midwest (since Green Bay failed to make the playoffs) goes to:

 

Chicken Stock (who will have to survive another frigid Chicago winter before she can retire)

 

The Dallas Cowboys Award

Most In Need of Rebuilding (since Dallas’ last title is becoming a distant memory) goes to:

 

Nutmeg (who failed to win the overall title for the first time)

 

The Tennessee Titans Award

League Best (since Tennessee had more wins than any other team) goes to:

 

Rosemary (who won the 1st half title)

Sage (who won the 2nd half and overall titles)

2016 CHAMPIONS

1ST HALF:  SHIRLEY
2ND HALF:  LINDA
OVERALL:  LINDA
PLAYOFF:  PAUL

2015 CHAMPIONS

1ST HALF:  GLORIA
2ND HALF:  PAUL
OVERALL:  GLORIA
PLAYOFF:  MATTHEW 

2014 CHAMPIONS

1ST HALF:  PAUL
2ND HALF:  LINDA
OVERALL:  PAUL
PLAYOFF:  LINDA

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